I think part of why women struggle to charge what they’re worth is because many of us are socialized to prioritize helping others. We want to be seen as generous, not self-serving. And while that mindset isn’t always valued in men, it’s often more socially acceptable for them to put a price on their expertise without being labeled as greedy.
I am sure I read somewhere else about the points you make here. That women were sidelined as capitalism took over, while men were brought up to be ready for war at any time - thus conditioning them out of “feminine” traits. If men cared too much they wouldn’t be ok with killing the enemy.
Caroline Criado Perez argued, in one of her newsletters, that the unpaid work that women do should be included in the calculation of GDP. Thank you for the info about Women Built, I shall look out for that. The patriarchy keeps telling us that we are the weaker sex. If a woman had the first baby and her partner had the second, there’d be a third but not a fourth. Smash the patriarchy!
It wasn’t a fear that men needed to be ready for war though (though sure that’s handy).
Federici shows how it came out of the increasing resistance to feudalism. The masses were becoming unruly and threatening. And so the plan was hatched to isolate women within the home, make them dependent, and turn them into breeders of a new and compliant workforce.
The beginning of this article shows what that looks like today - the way it’s still playing out in my life, and other women’s life, right now.
Well, it might be about time the masses became unruly again with women leading the charge. I love the story of when the women in Iceland went on strike. No paid work, no unpaid work. It has had a ripple effect since 1975:
Oh, I so needed to read your post. Last year I completed my CPCC/ICF ACC certification as a coach and said no to consultancies I was doing because they were draining and unfulfilling (but they did pay rather well). I have not managed to get my coaching business of the ground yet and am living off savings of my previous good salary. It is difficult when women clients, after attending a free workshop and saying it was wonderful, replied that in the future, they would consider paying for the workshop, but not more than 15 euros. I mean, that is less than they pay for pedicure.
Not only am I bad at setting my prices, I am also terrible at selling my services, because I come from a culture that says, you should not blow your own trumpet...tough spot to be in.
And amazingly, as a coach, I am great at supporting my clients in their quest to set their value/worth and promote themselves. But when it comes to me, I am struggling to practice what I preach.
Next time then! This is such important work for us all. We want to create a world with LOTS of rich, autonomous women who can build a better system 💃💃💃
Several years ago, a neighbour said she had a couple of pairs of trousers she wanted shortened. She said she’d pay me but I knew money was tight for her, she offered up some window cleaning ( her husband is a window cleaner). It took me 4 hours to firstly fit and then alter the trousers as she wanted them. I have 9 windows. Her husband would only wash 2 windows, and I had told him it had taken me 4 hours. He charges £20 a window.
That told me everything about him and about how men view us. A neighbour!!
Outstanding post! Thank you for bringing these awarenesses and giving us meaningful ways to make a difference. This should be said a million times in a million places so it's seen and heard everywhere; will restack. I'm picking up all of your book recommendations. We can make a difference; none of us are stuck unless we agree to be.
This. This to the very narrow of my bones. I am raging because of this. The system not built for us or by us and it’s time for the great unraveling and rebuilding. Thank you for the brilliant books tips. 💖
Such an interesting article and I have to read the book you mentioned now. I had an a-ha moment when I had kids and then again when made redundant after having them. Then hit perimenopause shortly after.
THANK YOU for putting this together in such a well written narrative - it’s like all my chaotic thoughts finally landed on paper!! 🙌.
I am thrilled you are doing this work - and wholehearted agree, it’s time to get to work building the new Matriarchal business model, I am done trying to win by playing by their rules in their broken system.
Yes to getting paid more and supporting each other along the way! 💪💪 (From someone who is also from the traditional "care" industry and will be unemployed soon, so pep talk to myself.)
Loved this post. A couple of thoughts that I'd add: There was a fantastic series on the BBC radio called 'Witches' by India Rakusen (?) which makes these points really well too.
And to raise that there is a movement via Female Invest - their mission is to tackle the issue of women's financial literacy. According to their site, it will take 169 years at the current rate to close the gender pay gap...
I think part of why women struggle to charge what they’re worth is because many of us are socialized to prioritize helping others. We want to be seen as generous, not self-serving. And while that mindset isn’t always valued in men, it’s often more socially acceptable for them to put a price on their expertise without being labeled as greedy.
Absolutely Bette - and this is the conditioning Federici shows us the roots of.
I am sure I read somewhere else about the points you make here. That women were sidelined as capitalism took over, while men were brought up to be ready for war at any time - thus conditioning them out of “feminine” traits. If men cared too much they wouldn’t be ok with killing the enemy.
Caroline Criado Perez argued, in one of her newsletters, that the unpaid work that women do should be included in the calculation of GDP. Thank you for the info about Women Built, I shall look out for that. The patriarchy keeps telling us that we are the weaker sex. If a woman had the first baby and her partner had the second, there’d be a third but not a fourth. Smash the patriarchy!
YASSS 💪🔥 💃
It wasn’t a fear that men needed to be ready for war though (though sure that’s handy).
Federici shows how it came out of the increasing resistance to feudalism. The masses were becoming unruly and threatening. And so the plan was hatched to isolate women within the home, make them dependent, and turn them into breeders of a new and compliant workforce.
The beginning of this article shows what that looks like today - the way it’s still playing out in my life, and other women’s life, right now.
Well, it might be about time the masses became unruly again with women leading the charge. I love the story of when the women in Iceland went on strike. No paid work, no unpaid work. It has had a ripple effect since 1975:
https://www.futurelearn.com/info/courses/a-global-history-of-sex-and-gender/0/steps/168422
Oh, I so needed to read your post. Last year I completed my CPCC/ICF ACC certification as a coach and said no to consultancies I was doing because they were draining and unfulfilling (but they did pay rather well). I have not managed to get my coaching business of the ground yet and am living off savings of my previous good salary. It is difficult when women clients, after attending a free workshop and saying it was wonderful, replied that in the future, they would consider paying for the workshop, but not more than 15 euros. I mean, that is less than they pay for pedicure.
Not only am I bad at setting my prices, I am also terrible at selling my services, because I come from a culture that says, you should not blow your own trumpet...tough spot to be in.
And amazingly, as a coach, I am great at supporting my clients in their quest to set their value/worth and promote themselves. But when it comes to me, I am struggling to practice what I preach.
Oh my god Liza, I HEAR YOU, and it's so frustrating but so very common for us as women.
Do check out our workshop - this is EXACTLY what we're going to focus in on >> https://link.fgfunnels.com/payment-link/68442df40263aead9d780cba
I saw your workshop- it is actually on a day that I can’t join, plus finances are difficult at the moment.
Next time then! This is such important work for us all. We want to create a world with LOTS of rich, autonomous women who can build a better system 💃💃💃
Several years ago, a neighbour said she had a couple of pairs of trousers she wanted shortened. She said she’d pay me but I knew money was tight for her, she offered up some window cleaning ( her husband is a window cleaner). It took me 4 hours to firstly fit and then alter the trousers as she wanted them. I have 9 windows. Her husband would only wash 2 windows, and I had told him it had taken me 4 hours. He charges £20 a window.
That told me everything about him and about how men view us. A neighbour!!
Yup. Says it all.
🫠
Outstanding post! Thank you for bringing these awarenesses and giving us meaningful ways to make a difference. This should be said a million times in a million places so it's seen and heard everywhere; will restack. I'm picking up all of your book recommendations. We can make a difference; none of us are stuck unless we agree to be.
SO useful to read this just when I’m considering turning on the paid subscriber option to my newsletter. Thank you 🙏
DO IT! 💃💃💃
Watch this space! 👀
This. This to the very narrow of my bones. I am raging because of this. The system not built for us or by us and it’s time for the great unraveling and rebuilding. Thank you for the brilliant books tips. 💖
It was not built for us or by us.
It was built UPON OUR LABOUR.
we're raging with you, Lisa.
Time to build our own!
Yesssss!!!
At first, I was gonna scroll right past—
thought it was another soft-voiced sorrow, a sister worn down, used up, laid flat for somebody else’s come-up.
But then I hit that next line—
and there I was.
You held up a mirror I wasn’t asking for, but needed.
I charge $250 an hour for consulting. That’s fact.
But the work I love?
Still in beta.
I cradle it. Call it my baby. Protect it like it’s too sacred to sell.
I whisper to myself, “I can’t pimp my baby, right?”
But that’s the programming.
That’s the grip.
That’s the lie dressed in love.
So thank you—
For shaking the frame.
For sounding the call.
For the wisdom wrapped in fire.
Write on, truth-teller. Write on! ✊🏽
Thanks MEL - will you come back and tell us when you LAUNCH 🚀 💃?!
Absolutely! 🙌🏽
Such an interesting article and I have to read the book you mentioned now. I had an a-ha moment when I had kids and then again when made redundant after having them. Then hit perimenopause shortly after.
Acutely aware how this wasn’t designed for us now
THANK YOU for putting this together in such a well written narrative - it’s like all my chaotic thoughts finally landed on paper!! 🙌.
I am thrilled you are doing this work - and wholehearted agree, it’s time to get to work building the new Matriarchal business model, I am done trying to win by playing by their rules in their broken system.
“The key is recognising the fog as a collective, socially conditioned experience rather than an individual flaw.” - great piece and too many truths.
Yes to getting paid more and supporting each other along the way! 💪💪 (From someone who is also from the traditional "care" industry and will be unemployed soon, so pep talk to myself.)
I am making a point of looking for women owned businesses before buying anything from now on! Thank you for this article!
Yes yes yes! All of this.
Too often I hear, this is just the way it is.
I’m 100%, 200% behind supporting feminine values .
Very well articulated with excellent references, this essay alone puts me in.
I’m partway through the door but not all the way yet .
Well done!
Loved this post. A couple of thoughts that I'd add: There was a fantastic series on the BBC radio called 'Witches' by India Rakusen (?) which makes these points really well too.
And to raise that there is a movement via Female Invest - their mission is to tackle the issue of women's financial literacy. According to their site, it will take 169 years at the current rate to close the gender pay gap...
Witch was fantastic - on Spotify now for those who haven’t listened! https://open.spotify.com/show/5G8G4pBD93IqpZgRj2p1MN?si=yNcjDJuoRQKf0CrCVGz1_Q
Female invest sounds good, thanks for pointing to that Emma 💃💃💃
👏👏👏👏👏👏
Thanks Chera! 💃💃💃